Summary:

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• How to unlearn the mind-body patterns that create chronic pain and illness.

Full Transcript:

Hi, it is Dr. Shiller here.  Today I want to speak in response to a comment that I recently got from one of the people in one of my classes, and I hear this comment quite a bit. It is very relevant for a lot of people, and this is someone who was doing some meditation training, some mind body skills development. Someone who is dealing with chronic pain and some other medical challenges and social challenges. Some really hard stuff going on for her, and her comment was like this: “Hey, Doc. During the meditation, I get to this really quiet sweet space, especially the things we do that are about opening up our hearts and like giving, and I really get to a great place and my pain is gone. And it can be gone for hours, it can be gone until the next day. It is amazing. I really appreciate this. But, and here is the kicker, right? But you know, I go back out into life, whether it is the same day or the next day, and something happens. And then suddenly, it is like, I never even did the meditation, I am in this place of distress in my mind and my emotions, my pain comes back. You know, I am starting to feel like I am just kind of a phony. Like, I am imagining it, like what is really going on here?  I can relate so much to the question, personally, when I was in medical school and in residency, and I was first starting to work with contemplative practice. I could very much relate to what this person is talking about, that the experience, the practice itself was deep and beautiful, and seems so transformative. Like, “Oh, my gosh, the world is going to be completely different now”. Then, you know, whatever amount of time later, it is like, boom! Getting sucked back in the same old stuff, the tension, the anxiety, I was having. Like neck pain and back pain and things like that. And so, it was really this sense of like, okay, was that real? Is this just a bunch of phoniness, like, what is really going on?  And what I want to say is that it is real.   The experience of dropping into quiet in your mind, your emotions, in your body, generates biology, that is healing. It generates mental emotional patterns that are healing, and very pleasant.  It is real, it is reality.  The issue is that you also have other aspects of your being, and your history, and your habits. There can very much be a dance between those two, I am going to call that dance and not tension, because to my eyes at this point, 20 years later, the dance is where the real artistry and the real healing and creativity of life comes in.  The first principle I want to share is that wherever your mind goes, there you are. And this is something that has been said by a lot of wise people over the years, including the Baal Shem Tov and Rabbi Nachman and in some of the sages of the Torah tradition. That wherever you put your consciousness, your conscious intention, or your unconscious intention, where your mind is, that is, what is generating your, a lot of your physiology. That is what is feeding into the thoughts, you are having, the emotions that are coming up. Yes, the bodily responses you are having, together with those thoughts and emotions. So, the art and the work is really a question of starting to become aware of that.  A lot of my students who are progressing further along, are starting to be aware of that, right? They start with the meditation that brings them the quiet to go, wow, this is amazing. Then they start to notice, oh, I keep thinking about that guy. Or I keep thinking about this experience or whenever I see this person, it brings on a sort of negative mind, emotion state. So, what do you do about that? Well, you start to work with it.  It is an aspect of self-learning, it is reflective learning, to start to see those patterns.  When you start to see those patterns, you start to become more mindful. You start to actually develop a kind of awareness that is not judgmental. You see that maybe, okay, I am self-judging, or self-doubting, or there is self-blame or even self-hatred.  Then you start to actually say, wait, no, I do not want to live from that place.  It is a little bit of an active will, just to decide that.   Then it is an act of awareness and something transformative that happens when you just start letting your heart receive it, and be aware of it.  If you were to see a little kid who is misbehaving, and they are a little kid, they are doing what little kids do. And if you are not too close to the issue, you kind of recognize and you are like, Yeah, and you can like, give that kid some support. Like, “Hey, come on over here. Listen, you know, I care about you. I love you. I see you doing that thing that is making a mess. You start to do that with yourself, and it can be transformative, because what happens is you develop the skill of dropping into a quiet place that just feels good and brings on the biochemistry and neurobiology of healing.  Then you also develop this presence of mind, this mindfulness, this compassionate, discerning awareness. That lets you see your habits of going to the negative places, and lets you start to make more conscious choices. Rather than just going with the habit. Because habits, most of them we developed from back then, when we were not so conscious. A lot of your worst habits, I can guarantee you came from a place of you actually taking care of yourself.  When you start to actually notice, wow, the reason I am reacting with anger is because back when this happened, I was scared, I was scared, I did not want it to happen again. So, I am angry, because I am trying to protect myself, and you start to see that kind of stuff.  And that is the process. That is the work of inner healing.  I want to bring another aspect to this from the Torah tradition.  And you know, the inner tradition of Torah brings this notion that every human being has got what we call an animal soul and a divine soul.  Your animal soul is really responsible for self-protection, self-preservation, reproduction, pleasure; it is your physical embodied self with all of the urges, and aversions that you have.  A lot of that is very conditioned, a lot of it is instinctual, a lot of it is cultural, it is stuff that we just are.  Then we have got this godly soul, it is a divine soul.  It is the part of us that as we grow and mature, we start to naturally have a sense of desire or urge, to be generous, to be giving, to include other people in our world, to care, to actually want to make a positive difference.  Those are aspects of our godly soul.  Those are aspects of your elevated divine soul.  In that tradition, the work of growth, the work of healing, the work of returning to our highest potential, is to come in contact with that elevated divine soul. To understand it, taste it, know it, become familiar with it, start to identify with it, and bring it with compassion, with intelligence to that animal soul.   The metaphor that often gets broad is like, if you are a person who rides horses, you know that the horse needs care, the horse needs to be brushed and cleaned, the feet need to be protected, the horse needs good food, shelter and protection from bad weather. If you want to be a good horse person, you need to take care of the horse. But you also need to ride the horse, and you need to direct the horse where you want to go. That is what horsemanship or horsewomanship is really about.  It is actually having the awareness and compassion for the animal, and actually having a clear connection to your own higher aspiration, your own higher purpose, your potential of who you are.  I invite you to really reflect on that metaphor, reflect on the different aspects of your own experience, that you might consider your animal bodily, embodied soul.  Rather than judging them as bad, just realizing that they are part of who you are, and part of what you can direct and learn to develop mastery over in your path of self-healing, of self-actualization, of being your most beautiful, powerful self in the world.  You are not a phony, you are someone who is learning to pay attention. You are someone who is learning that when you give your mind to matters of the divine soul, of purpose, of potential, of possibility of expansiveness, of connection, there is a certain physiology that is supported by that, and that comes out of that.  When you give your mind to the potentially more protective, negative, challenged aspects of the animal soul, you may experience negativity. But gradually over time, you learned to let your divine soul be the rider of the horse. In summary, what most people say who stick with the practice and stay true to it over time is that as you get familiar with it, as you develop a sense of greater self-acceptance, and you work through some of the challenges of relating to those more difficult parts of self, then the difference is less glaring, the extremes are less extreme and you develop a somewhat smoother pathway.  We all have times of elevation and times when we fall.  And what happens over time is the decline, the fall becomes for the sake of rising, and according to the Hasidic tradition, every time you have a fall, every time you slip into a negative pattern, every time you meet those difficult parts of self that are such troublemakers, it is really happening for the sake of them being elevated by your own divine soul and awareness.  There is really a path here of transformation that is available to you if you are sincere and dedicated and willing to develop awareness, develop the skill of self-regulation and quieting, develop mindfulness and compassion that the bumps are less strong, you spend more time in a place of relative, Hey, it is okay. I am with it, I have got this, things are going to be alright. And you spend less time cycling into the really heavy negative patterns. It takes time, it takes effort. This is real work, but it is also incredibly fruitful and valuable, because it not only influences the process of bodily healing, it leads you to excel, a sense of self and self-expression that is ever more beautiful and evermore connected to doing good things in the world and being the kind of person you want to be.   I hope this has been useful.  Feel free to leave any comments or send me comments or questions by email if you want.  And tune in again.  Look forward to being in touch.